ok , firstly , all these are true , and highly embarrassing at the time , but now I can laugh about them
1) It was the staff xmas do , my boss was giving me a lift in his hire car ( his regular one was in the garage ) . As always at work do`s , everyone was drinking like fish & had a huge mexican meal . I had plenty of drink , but was comfortably within my limits ... until the shout of "TEQUILLA" came up ... now , I don`t drink spirits at all , apart from Pernod (due to the fact that they have adverse effects on my stomach ) . So , they duely got me a pernod & I joined in with the merriment . The second Pernod I was given , turned out to be a triple ... and to my horror , after quickly downing it in a oner , turned out to be not Pernod , but Gin
. Things became a bit of a blur once we got outside , but we got to my bosses hire car ( which I might add , had to be returned at 9am the next day ) ... I was in a bad way ..... and yes , you can guess what happened 
. Lets just say , the boss was not impressed with having to pick second hand fajita & gin out the back of the car ... and I had to walk home completely covered from head to foot .2) It was a busy day at work , and I`d not had a bathroom break for ages .... so I was desperate when I finally got to go . I dashed into the gents , locked the door & relief ensued .... but it didn`t last too long when I realised that in my rush , I had broken the handle mechanism & couldn`t get back out again . Luckily I had my phone on me .... but damn the laughter that came when I had to phone the front desk for them to come and unscrew the door handle so I could get out !! I suffered for weeks after that one
3) I met my ex partners parents for the first time, and was getting on quite well ... that is until the question of animal cruelty came up . Now I`m a strong believer in non cruelty , and expressed my veiws ... I told them that my most disliked group of people were those that killed animals just for the fur ..... the room went silent .... With horror , I was told that her father was a furrier . *taxi for spendy*
4) Again , an ex story ... but a very quick one . My girlfriend took me home for the first time to meet her family . She warned me that her grand mother was living with them , and was a little bit mad . I took it all in , and followed her into her house . Her grand mother was in the kitchen , making a cup of tea . I said in a loud voice "ah , you are Sues grandmother , very pleased to meet you" ... again , silence .... it was then that my girlfriend whispered in my ear "that`s my mother" ... we never really got on after that !
5) I`ll keep this one as family friendly as I can ... Going home one day on the school bus , it was very full & ppl had to stand up . A girl that I had quite a fancy for was standing & I offered her my seat . She told me not to worry , but shot me a bit of a smile & said she would sit on my lap instead . Well , it was a dream come true .... but as we know , buses are bumpy things ..... long story short ( and pg rated ) I had to wait for 2 stops after my stop before I could get off the bus ... Grrr !!
6) this one didn`t happen to me , but my friend at work ( but it was funny & embarrassing , so I`ll add it in here ) .
Every day , the takings from work had to be taken to the bank in a bag . This was taken by 2 people , and this was my friends first day on the job .... so he drew the short straw . The money was put in the bag , along with a note asking for change for the tills . My friend took the bag in , and handed it over to the young lady that sat on the desk . ... all sounds routine .... but what he didn`t know is that they had put another not into the bag , and that note said : "Hello , my name is Richard . I am new in town , and very shy .... will you be my friend please .... I don`t have many friends" . Ah , poor lad
.I have lots more stories , but most of which invole drink , and are a wee bit too adult for this forum . I hope you have a bit of fun at my expense ... but yeah , I can laugh about them now
(Tell your friends!)
