Requesting help from all Excelsorians

[Cygnus]

Greetings everyone. I need your help. I am looking for people to help me complete my many years long project. I am looking for readers with a strong constitution who would be willing to read my story that is linked below. What I would like is people to read it with a critical eye, willing to give me honest feedback. I need things like strong points, weak points, plot errors, etc. Could you visualize the world, characters, and situations? Were you ever moved with emotion, felt attachment, related with anyone in anyway?
For those who don't know me, I have been a member of Excelsior sine 2007, having celebrated my 8 year anniversary on the shard on the 8th of October. So, I am not some Johnny come lately who is trying to lure you to some malicious sight. I started writing this story somewhere around 2009 and had just finally got to the point where I can share it with the masses. My friends, both on the shard and in real life have asked me if I plan to publish it. That will depend on the response I get from here. So, please read and enjoy, I hope, and give me your best shot.
The link is to my Microsoft One Drive. I can also link it to my Google Drive if someone prefers.

https://onedrive.live.com/redir?resid=7 ... ile%2cdocx

[Cygnus]

Oh, I forgot to mention. It is about 150,000 words and 380 or so 8 1/2" by 11" pages long.

It is a fantasy tale which is centered around a 'fictional' character from Excelsior, titled "The Adventures of Vandor."

[[Glyph]]

Tried the link but file not found. It sounds interesting.

[Gaara]

Tried the link but file not found. It sounds interesting.

Hmm, works for me just fine.

I left you a PM in-game Cygnus

[Cygnus]

Try this link if you can't access the One Drive.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3jUEd ... sp=sharing

[Gaara]

Readers, if you reply to this thread please do not include any spoilers.

[Cygnus]

If you would like to make a comment or review or anything else that may be construed as a spoiler, you can contact me here:
Sherloc1956@gmail.com

[timthree]

Wow! I just gotta say how much I enjoyed this book. I seriously couldn't stop turning pages. Very thoughtfully done and true to the UO experience.

[Rote]

Your review reflects exactly what I told Cygnus. Coudn't put it down!

Well worth the read.

[Eos]

*curtsies* It's wonderful!! I love how the end of each chapter pulls you into the next one! There is always some intense thing going on! The way you describe Evie... ❤ Words like that launch ships! ❤ Great insight on knights. It's like climbing in the backseat and letting someone else drive a while. Ahhhhhh so fun! ☼ I don't want it to end. Thank you

[[Glyph]]

Excellent story. Very well thought out. I really like the part where......., and when.......,oh oh oh and then that thing happened, and I was like WOW. Great job. I pm`d you with some feedback. I will send more now that I have re read your specific requests. CONGRATS for the hard work and we get the reward. THANK YOU.